


Chiisana uso mo ego mo kizu mo yurushi aeta nara (The small lies and egos and wounds, if we could forgive them all)

by vogue91



Series: 500themes [46]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Arguing, Bickering, Denial, Drabble Collection, Established Relationship, Jealousy, M/M, Making Up, Sexual Frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 05:52:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: “We are such idiots.” he said, sighing. “How about we try and tone the jealousy down a little? It’s too tiring.” he suggested.“Let’s be careful to the ripple effect, Hikka. I wouldn’t want that to turn us into a healthy and mature couple all of a sudden.”





	Chiisana uso mo ego mo kizu mo yurushi aeta nara (The small lies and egos and wounds, if we could forgive them all)

**Title:** Chiisana uso mo ego mo kizu mo yurushi aeta nara (The small lies and egos and wounds, if we could forgive them all)

 **Characters:** Yaotome Hikaru; Nakajima Yuto; Arioka Daiki; Inoo Kei

 **Pairing:** Yaotome Hikaru/Nakajima Yuto

 **Rating:** G

 **Word count:** 1.950

 **Prompt:[23 – Arguing](http://vogue91.blogspot.com/2018/10/30-days-otp-challenge.html)**; [22\. What lies beyond forever; 481. A death of a thousand screams; 488. When worlds collide; 121. Kiss the hand that feeds you; 40. Finality; 221. The razor's edge; 211. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth; 106. That's all I ask of you; 115. Deliverance; 250. A story never to be told; 62. Ignored instinct; 19. Fragmented truths; 132. Ripple effect](http://vogue91.blogspot.com/2018/05/500themes.html)

 **N/A:** Fourth part of the hiragana challenge. Written for the 30 days OTP Challenge. Obscenely long title’s from Nishikido Ryo’s “Half Down”.

_永遠 – Eien (Forever)_

“I thought it was clear, Hikka. I’m yours, forever. It doesn’t matter what you may think or how jealous you can't be, that is never going to change. I wish you’d stop seeing things were there’s nothing to see.”

Yuto had spoken more seriously than Hikaru had ever heard him, but that didn’t really put him at ease.

“But there is, no matter how hard you want to deny it. Even though it looks innocent to you, the way you act toward Yamada...” he sighed, feeling pretty silly for even bringing it up again. “The problem, Yutti, is what lies beyond forever. I just wish I was sure you were ready for it.”

Yuto’s jaw clenched, as he looked straight into the elder’s eyes.

“I'm telling you I am, Hikka. I'm ready for the eternity.”

Hikaru listened. And he believed him, because it was all he could do, right now.

_結婚 – Kekkon (Wedding)_

Once they had drawn to choose their roles in the wedding, Yuto could clearly see the death of a thousand screams on his boyfriend’s face.

He threw him an apologetic glance, without even knowing what he was sorry for.

It wasn’t like he had ever minded too much how close he and Yamada were, but if it was a problem for the elder, than it necessarily was for him as well.

“Is everything alright?” Daiki asked him as they went changing, looking worried.

Yuto bit his lip, unsure as to what to say.

“Are you jealous of me and Yamada, Dai-chan?” he asked point-blank, curious.

Arioka laughed, patting his shoulder.

“Oh. So you’ve reached that phase.” he chuckled. “We’ve been through that, and somehow we’ve overcome it. But, still... tell Hikaru he’s got all my understanding.”

 _Thanks for nothing, Arioka Daiki_ Yuto thought, and didn’t dignify that with an answer.

 

_世界 – Sekai (World)_

 “Since you’re usually the jealous type, it’s kind of new for me.” Yuto told Hikaru, dead serious. “Do you think you could somehow help how close you are with Kei-chan?”

Hikaru raised his eyes on him, a lost look on his face.

“So when it’s you and Yamada you’re friends, but me and Kei are conspiring to cheat on you and Kota?” he asked, ironic.

“And when you go on and on about me and Yama-chan I’ve got to shut up and take it while you get to avoid the issue?”

Hikaru sighed, frustrated.

“I avoid it cause there’s no issue in the first place, Yutti. Me and Kei have been friends for fifteen years. There’s nothing there.”

Yuto witnessed how it was when their worlds collided, and when they just couldn’t find it in themselves to let the other one be.

And it looked like pure and unadulterated hell.

 

_手 – Te (Hand)_

Kiss the hand that feeds you, they said.

The fans had a lot of appreciation for the way Yamada and Yuto danced around each other, and whilst normally Hikaru had no problems with fan service – he and Kota had lived off of it for years – he found he didn’t enjoy it at all when the both of them looked so much involved into it.

Concerts were their worst time. The way Yamada put his hands on his boyfriend in the most inconspicuous way, the way he looked at him, the way their bodies were pressed against each other...

Hikaru was going to burst, hadn't he found a way to distract himself.

And when Kei saw the way he walked toward him, it took him a whole second to get what the issue was.

“I feel used.” he murmured, but he let Hikaru try to Yuto jealous as well. 

 

_猫 – Neko (Cat)_

“Hikaru, for heaven’s sake, Keito asked me a favour. It...”

Hikaru threw himself against the couch, looking disoriented.

“You agreed to take care of his damn cat. I told you it was going to be trouble, but you never listen to me.” he reproached, his voice feeble.

“I was sure I had closed the door properly, but it must’ve... I didn’t mean for him to run into you. I'm so sorry, Hikka.”

Yaotome raised his eyes, more angry than Yuto had possibly ever seen him.

It was kind of funny, but he didn’t dare laughing.

“Hope the shock is going to wear off, Nakajima Yuto, or next morning I'm going to call Kota and ask him if he can take care of my boyfriend while he takes care of the damn cat.”

Yuto would’ve chuckled, but the finality in Hikaru’s voice led him to believe he wasn’t joking at all.

 

 _平和_ _– Heiwa (Peace)_

“You’re late.”

Hikaru knew he was. Still, for the sake of peace, he lowered his head.

“I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to be at the restaurant by now, but filming took forever, and then Kei wanted to...” he started, but mentioning the elder he stopped abruptly.

Which sounded more guilty than ever.

“Of course.” Yuto scoffed. “It’s not like it was something nice we could’ve done, since we haven’t spent time together in ages. I realize Kei’s needs are a priority in this relationship.”

Again, knowing he was already walking the razor’s edge, Hikaru tried to keep himself in check.

“Please. Let’s just go now, it’s not too late. Dinner’s on me. And I’ll be doing whatever you want from here till the end of the night.”

Yuto sighed.

“That was already a given.” he muttered, grabbing his jacket.

Hikaru just chose to take that as a win. 

_眼 – Me (Eye)_

“Well, I can’t say I’m glad that we lost, but at least I got mine.” Hikaru teased Yuto.

Nakajima turned to look at him, arching an eyebrow.

“If you’re referring to the pool setting, I feel deeply misunderstood.” he smirked. “And anyway I didn’t think I needed to stoop to something so low as a proposal to qualify.”

“Well, it was appreciated.” he smiled. “It’s not your fault, Yuto. No one blames you for not understanding how women works.” he made fun of him, and realized he had overstepped only when he saw the look on the younger’s face.

“Fine.” Yuto hissed. “Then go find yourself a nice girl for the night, Hikka, cause I'm out.”

Hikaru groaned.

“So what? An eye for an eye...”

“A tooth for a tooth. We’re going medieval.” he confirmed.

Hikaru wanted to retort with something witty, but in the end he caved.

Meh. Women.

 

_冷淡 – Reitan (Nerve)_

“So you’re saying you weren’t ticked by the thing in the slightest?” Hikaru asked, making a show of being astonished.

“No, of course I was not!” Yuto replied, appalled. “I understand how fans can be kinky sometimes, but you seriously have some nerve asking me to pour wax on my already tried skin!”

“Well, at least consider letting me do something you let _Chinen Yuri_ do. That’s all I'm asking of you.” Hikaru replied, doing his best to keep serious.

And Yuto then actually wavered.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous of Yuri, now, of all people.” he muttered, sourly. “I could _consider_ it. There’s no saying it will go in your favour.”

“Fine. That’s all I wanted.” Hikaru nodded, satisfied.

He couldn’t care less about pouring wax on Yuto. Just, sometimes, teasing him and see to what point he could lead him, was way too fun to lose the chance.

 

_限界 – Genkai (Limit)_

“Yutti, I know we had promised your mother we were going to go there for dinner, but I swear I...”

“It’s the third time we cancel on her, Hikka! She’s going to start thinking there’s something very wrong. Lately she’s been asking if everything’s alright between us on a daily basis.”

“Have her call Yama-chan, Chinen or Dai-chan. I'm telling you, this Haikaropa thing was brutal. I'm past my limit of what I can ingest, all I want is to go home and wait to digest.” he begged.

Yuto grabbed his phone, a gesture which Hikaru interpreted as his own personal deliverance.

Except that the younger handed it to him.

“Fine. There’s no need for her to talk to the guys. Explain her why we’re not going and reassure her you still love me. Tell her I said hi.”

Hikaru looked at the phone.

Maybe more food wasn’t so bad.

 

_全部 – Zenbu (Everything)_

“Nee, Yamamoto Mizuki-san?”

Hikaru was sure it was coming.

“Fine, have fun now that it’s fresh. I totally deserve it.”

Yuto laughed, leaning toward him and kissing him.

“You did such a great job I got confused there for a moment.” he said, smirking.

“What? Don’t you dare go straight on me.” Hikaru threatened.

“Mh.” Yuto pretended to think about it. “There’s only one girl I’ll ever like, Hikka.”

“After everything I’ve been through – _everything_ , it’s not the first time – that better be me.”

Yuto smiled fondly to him.

“Yaotome Hikaru, you’re the only woman I could possibly find attractive.” he declared. “And let this be a story never to be told, alright? Our honours are at stake here.”

Hikaru smirked, shaking his head.

“Our grandchildren are going to be so proud of us.” he commented, barely avoiding the slipper the younger had so eagerly thrown at him.

 

_出鱈目 – Detarame (Nonsense)_

Hikaru knew he shouldn’t have dismissed Yuto so easily, but he had just had it with illogical accusations and remarks.

Being jealous was an incredibly unbecoming trait on the younger man, no matter if it was justified or not.

_Leave it to Kei to play the nice and innocent fairy around you, asking all sorts of questions about your supposed ‘girlfriend’. How so very funny._

Hikaru shouldn’t have told him it was complete nonsense, shouldn’t have told him to leave Kei be.

His ignored instinct burned inside, telling him he should’ve listened to it, but apparently there was no going back.

He was just hoping Yuto was going to choose to start talking to him again and soon. Then, maybe, he would’ve gotten a chance to polish his answer, and tell him that he needn’t be jealous, that he was the only man Hikaru even looked at.

Simple as that.

 

_別 – Betu (Distinction)_

Whenever Yuto thought about Hikaru, as opposed to everyone else he knew, he made a clear distinction.

In his mind, there was no one coming even close to him, so he had never even wondered who came in second.

So, he did not understand the elder’s weird fixation with Yamada. It wasn’t that it didn’t compare, but that there was nothing to compare in the first place.

Since he had heard it for the first time, though, Yuto had started paying attention and had realized that his excuses were fragmented truths.

He was a tad overly friendly with Ryosuke, perhaps. What stroke him, was that had Hikaru acted like that with someone else, he would’ve probably killed him.

He hated to admit when the elder was right.

He could’ve toned it down a little, at the very least for Hikaru’s peace of mind.

And, not less important, for his own.

 

 _ペット_ _– Petto (Pet)_

“Kudos on not killing Kei durign the Pet Shop Love Motion’s performance. You would’ve had the right.”

Yuto burst out laughing, snuggling up toward Hikaru.

“And kudos on not killing Yama-chan when he came and hugged me. I was about to warn him he was going to die.”

Hikaru shrugged, pressing a kiss to the younger’s forehead.

“We are such idiots.” he said, sighing. “How about we try and tone the jealousy down a little? It’s too tiring.” he suggested.

“Let’s be careful to the ripple effect, Hikka. I wouldn’t want that to turn us into a healthy and mature couple all of a sudden.”

Hikaru knelt up on the bed, straddling him and starting to tickle his hips.

“Never in this life, Nakajima.” he grinned, enjoying the sound of the younger’s life in his ears.

It was wonderful to hear, it was wonderful having one moment of complete peace.

 


End file.
